dagny | Journal.

Again: Unless the journal is found ICly (in which case +mail me) this should not be used/mentioned IC.

I know what he is, now. It's been weeks since I've written anything, but I haven't had anything gnawing at my insides like this in that long, either. I know what he is, and I understand why I feel like shit.

I was selfish. I took an unnecessary trip to make myself feel better, and ended up feeling worse. And when I returned where I BELONG, I felt like nothing. Useless. Like I abandoned someone in the middle of the most horrible break down of the century and didn't look back. What kind of friend does that? Damn it. He lost /parts/ because of my selfishness, and yet he sits there and tells me that it's all right. When did I become the child soothed by the understanding parent? It's not right.

I'm tired. I've been walking the grounds for a day and a half before writing this, and I'm just.. I can't sleep. I can't sleep because I've thought too much, and now I'm left with this one thing resounding in my empty head.

I know what he is to me. I don't know if these people have a word similar to it, but I know a word for it and it is him.

I will never let him down again.

Dag.