Dagny Spear-of-Huginn Eriksen

I don't like feeling like I've made a huge mistake.

2014-06-06T06:36:35Z

My brother;

I gave up the band. Not because I really, deep down wanted to, but because that was the one thing that could actually pull me away from old Claire again. And I wanted to make sure that nothing could do that unless I really, really let it. So, I found them a new bassist and the mesh was good. The transition went as smoothly as possible, and I think that Hilly will make a good addition. I've shut down my twitter and facebook page. Even if they were under a fake name, it was the right thing to do. The band knows how to answer questions about where I've gone. Deep, spiritual, personal reasons.

I worked my ass off day and night for a spirit for a full month, sleeping precious little. I didn't mind it, I actually love giving to the spirits when they ask - and it's really only fair, seeing as how she was doing me a favor in return, after. And no small favor, either. I didn't know that a spirit could lessen the grip of the beast on members of my family, but I was proven wrong. I am no longer so tied to that bottle. I have clarity, for however long it lasts. I have to use the time I've been bought wisely, which is still difficult, given I have no idea where to begin.

Perhaps the books. My new landlord seems hopeful about the rows of tomes he's managed to amass. I've already read through one of them, but it feels like I picked the Silmarilian out of the far more interesting books by the same author. Or same flavour, in this context. I have a stack of four next to my cot. I'll try to read through them in the next few days. It'll be slow going, having to write everything down that seems useful or of interest. I never used to have to do this. I am so fucking mad that I have to now.

What good am I? Really? I cannot pass along news reliably. I can't remember sagas and stories from long ago or recent. I can't retell them with the beautiful detail and passion they deserve because.. I forget them halfway through. I can still sing, and I can still play, but will that be enough? And for how much longer? Will Mother understand that I am fraying myself trying to live up to her expectation? She is not unreasonable, but feeling as though I am no longer whole enough to be worthy is crushing me. I will let down my family, like this. And that comes with far more shame than I think I can live with. It ruins me to think of what Father would say, if I were to speak with him. What degree of weakness would he consider this? Am I already in violation of our laws? Should I stop kidding myself that I'll stumble on a way to fix this, and have the grace to remove myself before my existence becomes offensive to my family?

I have begun with the books. And with speaking to someone I trust. It has opened a few doors that may, or may not lead anywhere. I don't know if what I feel now is a sliver of hope, or tension as I brace myself for a fruitless search.

From the start, I knew I would join Father someday. I had thought it would be in service to the family, and in protection of Mother. I don't like that it's becoming more likely that I will be useless, and ended by ritual euthanasia. But if I must, I must. I will not force my family to suffer, just so I can draw breath.

I am alone.

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Dag: I lose more gnosis this way.

2012-08-06T06:48:56Z

W h o: Dagny, Ex
W h e n: 3am - 8.6.2012
W h e r e: Ex's Dreams
W h a t: Curious about what goes on inside Ex's head, Dagny begins working on finding a way into Ex's dreams. It takes a while, but Ex finally drifts off.

( Please sit down. )

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dagny @ 2012-08-05T23:24:00

2012-08-06T04:26:25Z

W h o: Dagny, Riley
W h e n: ~ 8.3.2012
W h e r e: Dreamscape
W h a t: Dagny dreamwalks. Griffin finds out.

( Bad Dream. )

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dagny @ 2012-08-05T23:24:00

2012-08-06T04:24:03Z

W h o: Dagny, Harper, Javid, Keir, Sue
W h e n: 8.1.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood
W h a t: BE WARY OF ROUSING A WIZARD'S WRATH

( Wat. )

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Pancakes.

2012-08-06T04:00:08Z

W h o: Dagny, Ex, Keir, Moros, Sue
W h e n: 7.24.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood
W h a t: Dag makes breakfast. Stupid shit occurs!

( Fuck your pancakes. )

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Motherhen all the metis.

2012-08-06T03:51:46Z

W h o: Dagny, Sue
W h e n: Evening, 7.22.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood: Dagny's Room
W h a t: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuue

( It made me remember things. )

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Gears.

2012-04-29T04:19:58Z

W h o: Dagny, Jacey
W h e n: Evening, 4.28.2012
W h e r e: Edge of the Bawn
W h a t: Dag continues her daily glaring at the Wyldgrowth, Jacey wanders up. The two talk. Brutal honesty ITT.

( I told Wildfire that I did not think you were fit to become one of the Fenrir. )

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OMFG DILLEN.

2012-04-24T09:42:30Z

W h o: Dagny, Dillen
W h e n: Afternoon, 4.23.2012
W h e r e: Brownstone
W h a t: Dag fangirls.

( Holy shit! )

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Cutting the pants off of a Metis.

2012-04-21T07:55:41Z

W h o: Dagny, Keir
W h e n: Late Night, 4.20.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood: Dagny's Room
W h a t: Keir rouses after the incident in the Umbra to find himself in the care of the Get. They talk. And drink.

( This is an experience I haven't had before. )

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ONS: The Wolf Spirit and the Balefire Bane

2012-04-21T07:51:04Z

W h o: Alexandra, Dagny, Emma, Keir, Slug, GM: Fwiffo
W h e n: Evening time approx: 4.20.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood, UMBRA
W h a t: A spirit wolf cries for help to the group at Edgewood. They answer the call, only to be swept into the Umbra...

NOTE: The scene ended abruptly when the MUSH crashed. Derp.

( Smells like lilac on top of shit, man. )

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Innuendos Galore.

2012-04-21T07:35:57Z

W h o: Dagny, Dirk
W h e n: Evening 4.19.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood House.
W h a t: Dirk and Dagny get some time to have a decent talk. And then Dirk whips out his sword and flops it into Dag's hands.

( Did ye wish t'see it? )

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Get out! OUT OUT OUT.

2012-04-20T03:01:41Z

W h o: Dagny, Slug
W h e n: Evening 4.18.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood House, Dagny's New Room
W h a t: Dagny meets with the final member of Skywire she needs to talk to about her joining. It goes.. cordially.

( On the other hand, Riley's changed... A lot. )

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Beware the Galliard.

2012-04-20T02:57:37Z

W h o: Dagny, Frankie, Jacey, Owen, Riley, Sue
W h e n: Evening 4.17.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood House
W h a t: Dagny brings a few things over to Edgewood for people. Frankie shows up, Jacey shows up, Owen shows up. Owen requires something from Dagny. He gets it in spades.

( With a burst of rage, we were in their minds and in their bodies, feeling their pulse and forcing them to sway beneath our onslaught. )

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Riley is a light weight.

2012-04-17T07:07:43Z

W h o: Dagny, Frankie, Riley
W h e n: Evening, 4.16.2012 (Immediately after last log)
W h e r e: Edgewood
W h a t: As Emma leaves, Frankie pulls up on her bike and is surprised to see Dagny. The two enjoy an interesting reunion while Riley is pretty drunk and falls on the floor.

( But if you wanted to watch over the place when I'm not around... )

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Awakened Mead, the Get, and Riley does a stupid.

2012-04-17T06:47:43Z

W h o: Aaron, Dagny, Emma, Riley
W h e n: Afternoon, 4.16.2012
W h e r e: Bawn, then Edgewood.
W h a t: Emma hears noises at the edge of the Bawn. Finds Dagny, in hispo, battling some vines which, Emma soon learns, have stolen Dag's book. Introductions are made. The two Get women decide to meander back to Edgewood for some booze and talk. They find Aaron and Riley there.

( Maybe I'll actually feel a buzz without having to shotgun liquor )

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Deja Vu.

2012-04-16T08:07:44Z

W h o: Dagny, Sue
W h e n: Night, 4.15.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood, Meadow
W h a t: Dagny, in Hispo, is preparing for a nice doze outside under the stars. Sue comes out for a smoke and ends up sucked into conversation with the Get. Also cuddles.

( Sometimes it feels like Gaia made me broken. )

It's strange. This is a different person, a different time, a different reason. But I feel like I've been here before. Like seeing a signpost for a place I haven't actually been to, but somehow I know where the streets lead.

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In which Dag smothers Ishmael in maternal affection.

2012-04-15T22:24:49Z

W h o: Dagny, Ishmael
W h e n: Afternoon, 4.15.2012
W h e r e: Tenement Building
W h a t: Dag goes in search of Izzy and is fortunate to find him on duty watching the Walker-HQ Monitors. They gab. Negotiations opened toward Packing.

( Couldn't give two shits. )

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Post Fatigo

2012-04-15T19:43:08Z

W h o: Dagny, Dirk, Isaac, Riley, Sue
W h e n: Late night, 4.14.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood House, Main Den
W h a t: Dagny returns from her talk with Silvertip, shares her mead with a few folks while small talk is made. Short log.

( I'm officially home. )

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In which Dag tries to get the alpha drunk and/or high.

2012-04-15T05:44:35Z

W h o: Dagny, Silvertip
W h e n: Evening, 4.14.2012
W h e r e: Blue Mountains, Silvertip's Territory
W h a t: Dagny approaches the Alpha's territory, asks for audience. To her surprise, he grants it.

( I don't drink. )

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Vignette: I cannot keep from singing.

2012-04-14T20:40:07Z

( And you want me to forget it? )

If you wish for your character to be privy to some of this, feel free to contact me. Otherwise, it is not to be used for IC purposes.

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Let's just be friends!

2012-04-14T20:17:23Z

W h o: Dagny, Riley
W h e n: Evening, 4.13.2012 (Immediately following previous log)
W h e r e: Edgewood, Upstairs.
W h a t: After Riley entered downstairs, Dagny found an excuse to leave the 'chatty' group and headed upstairs for some quiet. As she predicted, Riley came to talk to her before grabbing a shower. The two.. have awkward times.

( So right now, just... what we were. We were good friends, once. Until things make sense, we can be again. )

OOC NOTE: Please remember not to take information from logs and have your character magically know them ICly. I've seen hints of this so far. OOC Knowledge does not translate to IC knowledge just because you read something. ;>

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All are necessary.

2012-04-14T20:08:29Z

W h o: Dagny, Danny, Jacey, Riley, Sue
W h e n: Evening, 4.13.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood House.
W h a t: Some idle conversation. Danny freaks when he realizes that there's someone that can hear him. Sue is melancholy, Jacey is dirty, and Riley is also dirty when she arrives.

( How are these people gettin' so dirty? )

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Balance.

2012-04-13T22:31:49Z

W h o: Dagny, Keir
W h e n: Mid Afternoon, 4.13.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood Meadow
W h a t: Keir and Dagny meet. Keir gets to see for a short time. Chiminage is discussed, and Dagny arranges teaching and learning.

( You could spoil me, y'know. )

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Forbidden Fruit.

2012-04-13T02:52:02Z

W h o: Dagny, Devon, Sue
W h e n: Late Afternoon, 4.12.2012
W h e r e: Edge of the Bawn
W h a t: Dagny stands at the edge of the Bawn eyeing the vegetation. Sue appears, in Lupus. Introductions are made. Devon arrives a short while later. Sue contemplates eating a Bawnfruit.

( Bloody plants have me jumpin' at nuthin'. )

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Things that were, things that are.

2012-04-12T06:38:12Z

W h o: Dagny, Riley
W h e n: Evening 4.11.2012
W h e r e: Edgewood, Dirt Road in a Truck.
W h a t: Dagny steps out of the Edgewood house after being annoyed by a windbag. Talks about the weather with a new face. Things get fucked.

( Explain. Explain much, much better than that. )

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